I just started this blog and only have one posting, but in the future hope you enjoy reading some thoughts and personal life update of mine — on sex work, relationships, community, and more. Suggest to me what I should write about next!
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I’m grateful and flattered by anyone who takes the time to read what I have to say, so thank you!
All my love,
A Happy, Healthy Community - August 2019
Please note that this post is meant to be helpful, and in no way do I hope to portray judgement on folks who didn’t know this information, or to providers who have had to make unsafe decisions out of necessity. I also don’t aim to scare anyone, but just to speak on something important, even if there is backlash from doing so. It’s worth it to me to say the following about this touchy subject in the interest of keeping my loved ones healthy and happy.
While we’re here, being brave enough to explore our desires, ourselves, and our human needs, let’s discuss something taboo and imperative. Keeping our community sexually safe. Yes, you are part of a community of people who interact with each other, and therefore, all play a role in each other’s safety. Community is a wonderful thing. And with our ability to enjoy this community and each other’s company, comes our responsibility to keep each other safe.
I find sex workers to be more conscientious in caring for their partners than the sexually active “civilians” I know! We (and this is statistically documented) have safer practices and get tested more regularly. This is not to say that I haven’t heard other sex workers assume that using protection creates immunity from any risk, but honestly who did get good - or any - sex education in school? That’s why this post is written for everyone, without judgement.
Mainly though, I’m writing in response to troubling comments I hear from gentlemen from time to time. There are those who claim they will only see a provider if she’s willing to play without protection, and yet will not take the responsibility to get themselves tested. But what’s more accepted and less talked about is clients who believe that because they do play safer (i.e. protection) they can go months or years having multiple partners and not getting checked. And those who If you claim that your personal situation couldn’t allow you to get these necessary checks while maintaining discretion, keep reading. If as a client you ultimately decide that you absolutely cannot consider getting tested, it’s irresponsible of you to keep engaging. To do so would be equivalent to saying “I don’t want to put seatbelts in my car, but I’d still like to drive my friends around in it!”.
(Yes, it is absolutely possible to have an infection in your body and never develop symptoms, and it’s more possible than you think. And, most of the infections that can be transmitted by this contact can be passed even with the use of protection.)
Lastly, I want to share how you can get tested anonymously, and even without cost. I hear too many men say they don’t or won’t ever consider checking up on their sexual health because someone would find out.
Take advantages of clinics who’s goal is to do just that - to provide discreet and low cost or free sexual health services! You can walk into or make an appointment at any Planned Parenthood (and many other clinics, just Google it!) and get tested without using health insurance. If you have trouble getting seen by a doctor in a timely manner (these clinics serve a lot of people), tell them that you believe you’ve been exposed to something, instead of just wanting to get a routine test for safety. On the other end are for profit companies that aim to allow people to get tested discreetly by offering only out of pocket services, payable in cash. Some of these are in person offices, and some companies do at home testing in which you order a kit online and mail it back. Google-ing time :)
I’m certainly not a doctor, but my personal advice? Play it safe and get checked out at least a few times a year, depending on your number of partners both in and out of the provider community, and of course after any time you don’t use protection with someone.
I hope you found some of these ideas helpful, and don’t feel uncomfortable by hearing them. Lastly, I hope we all can get as much pleasure, love, and magical experiences from each other as possible by committing to keep ourselves and our partners safe.